fsck

how fucked up is it that we're such a competitive society and yet there are so many of us? it's one thing to compete to be the best when you're in a group of 5; it's completely another when there are nearly 7 billion people on the earth. i don't want people to feel like they're competing with me. i know some of them will - some people have that nature.  but most people don't, at least as far as i've been able to count it. i think people feel competitive as a defense, rats in a gladiator cage. and people are scared - in this economy which almost feels as if capitalism will fail, we are desperate to hold onto our tenuous little paths of growth, feeble and frail little straws. -december 28, 2011

(*Obviously I haven't posted in awhile. I'm thinking a lot about what I want to do with this space - and pretty much every space in my life. I'm a college graduate!! I'm not really sure what my plans are at this point, but I know I'll be writing something .. somewhere. I'm sure I'll update here and there!*)

I have a test tonight and I can't seem to concentrate on it.

I've played 3 games of Sudoku, painted my nails, cleaned the kitchen, and checked facebook 1000000 times.

And now I'm blogging. Whatever.

So, did you hear about this?  (You should have, I tweeted it.)  Two people were killed in Mexico for talking smack about drug cartels on the internet.  Their bodies were left hanging from a bridge, gruesomely mangled.  I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.  I mean, don't we all pretty much assume that we can spout whatever we want online with no repercussions?

These people were murdered.  And maybe I'm not even supposed to be talking about it (but I'm pretty sure CNN is a bigger target than I am).  It's so nightmarish.

Anyway, back to the books.

You guys!  I'm working on the coolest, most exciting opportunity and I hope I'll have something to share with you soon.  It's a big part of the reason that posting has been scarce around here.  Well, that and school starting again.  And my laptop power cord going out.

I'll probably get back to a semi-normal posting schedule soon, but for now I'll probably mostly write as inspiration strikes.   Don't forget to follow us on twitter (@fsckco) for link love!

Did you watch the George Bush 9/11 documentary on NatGeo last night?  We caught about half of it and, really, it was very close to what I was expecting - poignant, emotional.  I found myself misty-eyed more than once at the images of distraut people comforting each other and I flat out burst into tears at one point when I thought about the ugliness of war that followed the first wave of unity.

It was a lot easier to listen to W. speak now that he's been out of office for a few years.  I mentioned to Eric that by the end of his presidency, Bush had become nothing but a caricature.  I think this has as much to do with society as it did with Bush himself - we were seeing the rise of the non-stop coverage (and therefore criticism) of figures and events that has come to define the beginning of this century.

I personally believe that W. was a generally well-intentioned but somewhat dim fellow who was put into his position largely because of his family name and the ease with which he could be manipulated.  I believe that the true atrocities of his administration were committed by behind-the-scenes players who took advantage of their proximity to power.

So, where does that leave us today?  I'm beginning to see the cyclical nature of call-and-response public opinion - and to recognize how easily I myself am caught up in it.  Bush is evil; well maybe he's okay.  Obama will be a savior; he's not so great after all.

Time and time again humanity seeks an answer in extremism only to come back to moderation after history has showed us the error of our ways.  Perhaps the two-party system will keep us in that perpetual balance but perhaps we are now savvy enough as a nation to choose two candidates who do not follow party lines but who decide for themselves which are the most important issues that we face as a nation.

Above all, we need to do all that we can as CITIZENS of this country to ensure that our democratic process is not tainted by greed and profiteering.  There is no overnight fix for this; it is a process of becoming more aware and refusing to be enablers.  Business is good but corporations controlling the government?  That's bad.

So what can you do?

Learn about the companies you support with your dollars - it's easier than ever to learn about a company's mission statement, literally just a few clicks.  Support businesses whose actions match their words.  Pay attention to who stands to profit from back-room deals.  Speak up when something makes you uncomfortable.  We have the power.  We are America, and it's time we take pride in that again.

Man, this week really snuck up on me and kicked my butt.  It's the first week of school and I guess I just wasn't prepared for it.  Oh, and one of my textbooks is still in Malaysia and I had my first quiz tonight.  (Luckily the first chapter of a textbook is mostly common sense stuff!)

Keeping up with a regular posting schedule is proving to be a challenge for me, but I expected that it would.  This was the first week that I missed a day, though, so I'm doing better than I thought!

• Eric has a post planned for next week about the release of the West Memphis 3 and this post sums up the way I feel about it perfectly.  This saves me from having to think up anything to say about it.
• Penn Jillette: "I don't know, so I'm an athiest libertarian." Again, what else can I say?
• At this point there's nothing I can do to keep from seeming lazy - a few minutes ago one of my friends posted this link on facebook alleging that BP's oil well is leaking again.
• Anonymous tends to be a little snarky for my tastes but whatever, this is funny.  I mean not "haha" funny because police shooting people is sad but "I'm determined to get this post out by midnight" funny.
• This article on Reuters suggests that President Obama may be re-elected by default.  It's actually a good one because I bookmarked it last Sunday when I still had time to read long articles.

Oh no!  I got distracted by a kitten and now it's 12:01.  Late again.

I often wonder what people will remember most about this time in history.  Will it be the Arab Spring?  The decline of the United States Empire?  The birth of some new age we don't even suspect yet?

I have other questions, too:  Are we just swept along in the passions of history or do we actually set its course?  What are we getting ourselves into, and what can we get ourselves out of?

Sometimes it feels as if the world were crumbling around us.  But maybe this is the fall of the Berlin Wall, not the burning of Rome.  Maybe this time will prove to be the re-awakening of humanity, moving us to a new state of enlightenment.  And you know, maybe it won't - maybe things really are as bad as they seem.

But as Kurt Vonnegut said, "We are what we pretend to be."

Maybe what we really need IS to pretend that we're not afraid, that the spirit of America - and the spirit of mankind - will prevail, that we'll buckle through and get through this and we'll help our neighbors near and far.*  I know it sounds kind of hokey but the other option is to give in to the doom and gloom.  I think it would be foolish - even negligent - to pretend that nothing bad is happening in the world, but believing in the possibility of a positive future is vital.  I'm doing everything in my power to take care of myself and my dreams - I'm working too hard to just give up hope.

So I leave you, as always, with the hope that sending these words out into the void will make me - and maybe you - feel a little less alone.  Don't give up and don't let anyone else, either.

What a week.  I've spent my whole life wishing I'd lived in times of change, romanticizing the sixties and hoping I'd eventually experience something interesting enough to write about.  Now all I'm wishing for is the time when everything's over and we reflect on the historical significance of what just happened.  Leave the nostalgia for the young'uns.  (Yes I just said that.)

While everything seems to be spiralling out of control around us, I'm more determined than ever to focus on my own path and make my dreams come true no matter what obstacles stand in my way.  I know that may sound a little trite, but the truth is that I'm my own biggest obstacle and my lizard brain is always waiting to discourage me when things get scary.  Stock market plunging?  Oh, guess it's a bad time for a risky freelance career.

Anyway, enough soliloquizing.  My point is that I'm still working on the balance between hand-wringing and detached nonchalance - and today's links are funny because I needed some cheering up.

• Well, funny-slash-biting-political-commentary, I suppose. This xkcd comic - airplane comedy, amirite? - is good for that.
• Social media propaganda posters.  A little funny, a little scary.  I kind of want one.
• Do you have these Recession 101 billboards in your town?  I pass one every day on my way to work, usually just as a radio personality is getting really worked up.  They might be a little overly optimistic but it's still a nice reminder.  (If you're wondering, mine says "Stop obsessing about the economy; you're scaring the children.")
• If you're my friend on facebook or in my circles on Google+ then you already know that this week I discovered McSweeney's Internet Tendencies.  You know this because I feel compelled to share nearly everything McSweeney's posts.  I'm sorry.  I opened the page to copy the URL and opened 6 tabs.  I haven't even picked which article I'm going to link to yet.  Come back later.*
• This one isn't funny but it's sort of a response to another article I linked to last week asking where the revolutionary music is - a list of nine present-day political songs.

*Here, I picked this one just for you: "Ineffective Pick-Up Lines for the Modern Internet Persona"

This week, the last round of back-to-schoolers trudged off to their first week of classes.  The summer retail season is officially over, bathing suits marked down to 1/3 price and sweaters just starting to appear on the shelves.  Afternoons in the shop spin out slowly, long periods of downtime punctuated by the odd late-season tourist or harried toddler mom.

That first Monday is always the worst.  Luckily I was rescued from the tedium by my boss, who talked with me about politics for several hours.  He and I share many of the same concerns for our nation's future, though of course we come to them in very different ways.   My boss works at our store because he was bored by retirement - in his previous career he was a businessman with an impressive title at a large company.

I prefer to talk politics with people who are older than me because I can learn more  if I talk to someone who doesn't share my programming.  Here are a few of the things he said this week that particularly caught my interest:

• On the legalization of marijuana to stimulate the economy: "A lot of people say that legalization would be good for the economy, but I don't think it would.  If you legalized it, the price would drop - and legal or not, that money is already being put into the economy."
• On the EPA: "Why not just give that function to the individual states?  It would reduce governnment spending, create state jobs, and the states themselves would collect the fines from offenders."  (I wrote about the EPA here.)
• On the election: "The person who gets elected will be the person who makes jobs their biggest platform.  Jobs, and decreasing foreign aid.  It won't be popular, but that's what it will take."
• On Michelle Bachman: "You have 30% of people who - even if the candidates have horns and snakes crawling out from under their fingernails - will vote Democrat no matter what happens.  You have another 30% who will vote Republican the same way.  So you really have 40% of people who will decide this election.  Obama was elected largely on a campaign of reversing DADT and who openly said he didn't have a problem with gay marriage.  Do you really think that 40% will elect someone who's made a career out of opposing those things?"